Personal Growth

THE PRICE OF PERFECTIONISM

What does being a perfectionist mean? Simply, it means that there is absolutely no room for failure. Anything achieved by the perfectionist must be completely, well, perfect, no errors, not average but the best possible outcome that can be expected. This expectation is self-imposed and is often times, unrealistic.

Perfectionists have an all-or-nothing mindset. They usually grow up with an overly-critical parent and are constantly pressurized to achieve and maintain top results, anything less is unacceptable.

The problem is that nothing the perfectionist does is ever good enough. When they succeed at one goal, they quickly move onto the next. As a result, the perfectionist is in danger of suffering from anxiety or depression. The perfectionist is likely to have low self-esteem. If the perfectionist views their body as less than perfect, they will take matters to the extreme and are in danger of developing eating disorders.

The life of a perfectionist is a constant struggle even though from the outside, they appear to be self-confident and are successful. Inwardly, the perfectionist actually has a low sense of self-worth and lacks self-esteem. Sadly in some cases, over time the constant fear of failure and being unable to live with perceived failures, the perfectionist may decide the only escape is to end their own life.

For most of us, failures are a normal part of every day life. We accept that we are only human, we make mistakes and can choose to learn from them. This is a much healthier attitude as failure cannot be avoided. Having a strong support system can help ease the difficulties in life we go through.

Experiencing difficulties and challenges helps us to grow stronger. We learn that we can survive them, that we are resilient and that no matter what happens today, the sun will still shine tomorrow.

Personal Growth

Dealing With Change

Life is constantly changing. Our circumstances change, we grow older, our children grow up, our jobs change, where we live changes, even the people (families aside) we spend time with changes. How do you feel about change? Does it scare you or excite you? Does it make you feel stressed and anxious or do you look forward to the prospect of change? Generally speaking do you embrace change, go with the flow or do you resist change?

Change is not always easy, especially when it’s forced upon us, such as losing your job due to retrenchment. This can lead to feelings of fear, loss, insecurity, shock, disbelief, powerlessness, anger and depression. It is normal to feel these negative emotions initially. How we cope and deal with change is largely determined by our feelings and attitude towards it.

Change is inevitable. Accepting change is the first step to making the transition easier. The more readily we accept it, the happier and more peaceful our lives will become. Finding meaning in the change can lead to acceptance. As yourself “what does this change mean to me”? How will it affect me? What opportunities are there for me now? Start to see the positive possibilities in the situation. An example of this could be when your children are grown and find yourself with an ’empty nest’, you could take up a hobby you’ve always been meaning to start or do volunteer or charity work. Going back to the example of having lost your job, consider a change in career (maybe you’ve always wanted to do something completely different), working in or moving to another city. Explore your options.

Once you have decided on your course of action, commit to your decision. Plan how to reach your goals and take action! Who knows, the change you’re going through may be the catalyst for you to do something you’ve always dreamed of.

To summarize, when it comes to change :

acknowledge and deal with your feelings,
find meaning in it,
explore opportunities and positive possibilities,
commit, plan and take action.

Change can be challenging but it’s not all bad! Change helps us to grow, experience and learn new things. It’s what makes life interesting and it helps us to appreciate our lives as they are now.

Motivational

Is Life Passing You By?

Is life passing you by while you for the ‘perfect’ time to realize your dreams, goals or desires? An example of this will be ‘when the kids are in school …’, or ‘when the kids are out the house …’, you get the idea. There will never be the perfect time, the moment is right now! By waiting for the so-called ‘perfect time’ we are in fact postponing our own happiness, satisfaction and success in life.

Think about what is most important to you in life. Perhaps spending quality time with your family is of high value to you. How would you feel if you were only able to spend a limited amount of time with them. More than likely this would make you feel unhappy and uncomfortable with the situation, you might even feel stressed about it. What would you be willing to do to change it? Perhaps spend less time at the office or free up your weekends to do fun stuff with your spouse and kids?

The truth is when you make something important and of high value, you will make it a priority and find the time to do it. Shouldn’t our goals, dreams and aspirations be regarded as of high value and importance? Why put off having something you’ve always dreamed of? Why have a mediocre life?

Life is short and precious. While you have the time here on earth make time to the things you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t wake up one day and look back on your life with regrets. Decide what you want and then go out and get it! It’s never too late to start. Write down your goals and dreams. Plan step-by-step how you are going to achieve them. Do something every day to bring you closer to your goals. Enjoy the feeling of success when you accomplish them.

Keep growing and achieving and live a fulfilling life. After all, it’s your life to LIVE!